Wednesday, 24 March 2021
Anyone else feel like this week is going by in slo-mo? I feel like it’s Friday already…for several days and it’s only Wednesday.
Gentle rain fell today. It was beautiful. The temperature was warm, not as balmy as the last couple of days but still, pretty sweet for March. I must admit though, I really missed the sun. It has a way of lifting my spirit.
I’m still in decision mode. One decision has been made: I’m ready to move. It’s been a difficult decision because this is my home, even when I left, it was always here to come back to. Not to mention my roots go deep, back to the 1840s. So, ya, it’s been tough but I know it’s time to go. Mom feels it too. We’re on the same page.
But I’m struggling with where to go and what to do next. The dream has always been to have a farm house on a small acreage. A few animals like a horse, maybe a goat or sheep, a chicken or duck. Nothing big or fancy. Something quiet, surrounded by nature and water. A healing sanctuary where I could offer a healing refuge for those who need it, be it an abused or abandoned animal or an abused human, or someone who has lost their way. Being in the country, surrounded by nature, surrounded by animals, especially animals that have gone through similar situations, it is healing. It touches, soothes and heals the mind, the body, and the spirit.
Now that I’m one step away from making this dream a reality, I hesitate. Actually, I get into my head space, instead of my heart space, get all logical and “realistic”, crunch numbers, ask tough questions like: can you really afford to feed a horse, goat and chicken? Can you afford the vet visits? You do realize horses cost a lot right? You won’t have freedom to hop on a plane and travel, not to mention $$$. What do you know about healing anyway? You’re no spring chicken. Do you really see yourself hauling hay, mucking stalls, mending fences, mid-calf in mud and other stuff? Maybe a nice house on the coast with amazing views, but no acreage, is better; Less work, less hassle, more freedom.
No one can decide this for me, although wouldn’t it be nice? I remember reading somewhere that if the choice scares you, then it’s probably the correct one. When you’re pushed outside of your comfort zone, it’s terrifying, but that’s where true joy resides. There is nothing quite like conquering a fear, the satisfaction, the “I did it!” moment, that elation. But is it a sunset over the ocean or a barnyard with animals? Maybe both. I can hear myself counselling my clients, sharing messages and words of wisdom from their guides…There is no wrong path; They all lead to the same destination and there is joy to be found on them all. Just take a step forward and go.