Tuesday, 12 May 2020
I’m sitting at my desk, gazing at Venus, shining bright during blue hour. A red glow still visible at the horizon with a soft gradation upwards of orange, yellow, sky blue, to deep blue. It’s breath taking, if you like that sort of thing, and reminds me that 40 days from today is the longest day, summer solstice…Summer. It’s hard to fathom because of the cold weather (another frost warning tonight) and COVID-19 hibernation.
This week, I’ve been feeling like I’m missing out on something, like I’m squandering an amazing opportunity to do something, to create something. Yet, I have no idea what. I have a lot of ideas of what I’d like to do with my life, but it all involves money…money to purchase land, money to build, money to start up… And then I shift gears from dreaming about “what could be” to “how do I make it happen”? How can I make more money to realize my dreams? Then I get discouraged and shut down. Really, I should know better. I’ve read many books on manifesting and letting go and letting God. And, for some reason I’ve moved away from that thought process. Why? I don’t know. I’ve witnessed it working in my own life, so what’s stopping me from moving forward now? If I knew, I wouldn’t be here right now asking these questions.
I went for a walk around the yard this evening. Thirty minutes in nature during golden hour, walking up and down the hill to the river and back, stopping here and there to take pictures of things that caught my eye, such as the leaves opening on branches. I stood by the river watching a turkey vulture fly towards and then by me. So quiet, so graceful. Then four geese flew overhead, followed by two ducks a moment later. All so quiet and graceful. Not a sound came from them, which is rare. It made me realize I need to quiet my mind, quiet my words, just be quiet and go within. The answers I seek are within. I know this. I used to teach this, yet the teacher becomes a student, as the student becomes the teacher. It’s cyclical. Life is cyclical: Birth -> Death -> Rebirth. Nature is cyclical: Spring -> Summer -> Fall -> Winter.
Time to be quiet and go within.
I love these daffodils and just want to share their beauty with you. Enjoy!