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Holy Thursday, 9 April 2020

It actually snowed today. Big white fluffy snowball sized snowflakes. Kind of reminded me of the first snowfall of the season. Magical…whimsical…pretty.

I had a virtual work “town hall” this afternoon. While gazing out the window, intently listening to the meeting of course, I saw three deer in distance, running along the tree line, one after the other. It was beautiful and a real gift.

I ran out of sunflower seeds earlier this week. Suet too. With no seeds, I’m not able to make more suet. I finally placed an order with Rona for bird seed. Although it’s not really essential, it feels like it is…for my mental well-being. I spend so much of my time feeding, connecting with and enjoying the birds. I have two downey and two hairy woodpeckers hanging around the feeders. Two more than I usually see! Today, they finished off the suet. Then hung around looking for more food. It was very cute to see them bob their heads from side to side, figuring out what’s next. I captured this little guy looking around one feeder, wondering where the food is, no doubt!

I’m part of an online survey group and have been taking part in weekly surveys regarding COVID-19. Today, as I clicked the responses, I stopped for a moment to check-in and see how I’m really doing. Am I terrified? No. Am I scared? No. Am I afraid of dying? No. Am I nervous? Maybe. Am I anxious? Ya, at times.

I don’t consider myself an anxious person. And, while I’m safely ensconced within the confines of my home…my bubble of protection, I feel quite safe and anxious/worry free. As the grocery pick-up date comes closer, I feel an anxiousness begin to spread. Heightened senses. Heart palpitations. Difficulty staying focused. Harder to take a deep breath in. It’s crazy, I tell myself. It’ll be OK. Just keep my distance, wear gloves, wash my hands when I get home. Wipe down the groceries. Have a plan, stick to the plan. It’ll all be good. It’s been fine each time I’ve gone out. It will continue to be fine. What’s the worst that can happen. If it’s getting COVID-19, then I’ll deal with it. If it’s my Mom getting it, then we’ll deal with it. If it’s one of us dying, then I wish I had been on the balcony of a cruise ship, sipping Baileys, but at least I’ll be home, enjoying nature. If it’s our time, it’s our time and we’re both OK with that. But for gawd’s sake, it’s just picking up groceries!!! Deep breath in…hold it…hold it…hold it…hold it…hold it…and let it out…slowly. Rinse and repeat 😉

A gleeful moment tonight as I was feeding the cats before bed, I glanced out the kitchen window to see a bright ball of fire in the sky. A squeal, followed by running footsteps, grabbing the camera and off to the veranda to grab a few shots. Ohhhhh, how I love nature!

Be safe out there. And if you celebrate, Happy Easter weekend. It’s an important one for the Catholics and will certainly be one for the books.

w.