Only say yes when you’re whole heart and soul are in to it.
Have you ever done something because you felt obligated to do it but you really didn’t want to do it? Ok, that was a mouthful. But really, think about it for a moment. Have there been times in your life that you’ve said yes when every cell in your body is screaming NO! But a guilty feeling came over you and politeness overtook and – even as you’re thinking no – yes comes out of your mouth.
It happens to the best of us. But it doesn’t have to, not anymore. From this day forward, only say yes when you’re whole heart and soul are in to it.
I wasn’t being true to myself… I was being incongruent.
I can still remember the day a therapist suggested this to me. It was a completely foreign concept and I believed it would be rude of me to say no and not attend events I was invited to. The more I thought about it and prayed on it I realized how unfair I was being not only to myself but to others as well. Yes, I was being unfair to others by showing up to an event I didn’t want to be at and bringing that negative energy with me. I wasn’t being true to me. In essence, I was being incongruent.
By going places and doing things you don’t really want to do, you’re not helping anyone, in fact you may actually be doing more harm than good, not only to yourself but the people around you. Let’s start with you. You’re going, going, going, doing, doing, doing for everyone but you. Before long you begin to resent not having time to yourself, you may even find you’re exhausted from being “on” all the time and you’re lacking energy and get sick easily. Burn-out is just around the corner baby!
That’s what this world is all about, sharing our light and love with each other.
Now, let’s look at the people you think you’re helping by saying yes. They’re getting the exhausted, stressed-out, unhappy you. People deserve the best you have to offer. Heck, YOU deserve the best you have to offer and when you’re being true to you – being congruent – your energy is positive and happy and your inner light shines bright which floods everyone around you with love and healing light. That’s what this world is all about, sharing our light and love with each other. It’s a win-win for everybody!
By saying no you’re saying yes to you and yes to what’s important to you.
It’s amazing how hard saying no is – especially at first – and at the same time how liberating and self-empowering it is! Trust me, it gets easier with time. I found myself saying no to almost everybody at first. I needed time to re-energize and decide what’s important to me. Now, I’m selective and choose only events that truly resonate with me.
So, do everyone a favour and only say yes when you’re whole heart and soul are in it.
P.S.: Here are some no phrases to help you along: no thanks… not this time… thanks for thinking of me but I have to pass. And remember: you don’t have to give excuses, a polite but firm No is all that is needed.