Choices

ottawa river at sunset
Ottawa river taken from the War Museum. October 2012. © Wanda Quinn

Have you ever had one of those days when you’re faced with choices yet you’re not sure which way to go?  Our lifetime is filled with choices: Do I go left or right? Should I take the job? Should I break up? Is (s)he the right one for me?

Sometimes the choice is easy in that it’s clear which direction to take. But there are times when the direction isn’t so clear. In fact, sometimes it’s so unclear that we flail around like fish out of water afraid of making the wrong choice thereby not making a choice at all. Not making a choice puts you in a worse spot than making a wrong one. Why? Because there is no such thing as a wrong choice. Every choice or decision you make is a movement forward on your path.

We are often presented different paths to choose from – one may appear harder than the other – but they’ll both lead us to our final destination . So, the next time you’re flailing about trying to decide whether to go right or left  ask yourself this: does it bring me closer to my goal? Ultimately, you want to make choices that bring you closer to your goal.

Why are some choices so clear and others not?

I find two things generally contribute to making your judgement cloudy:

  • The first is you’re not grounded and centred. This may sound new age, even lame or repetitive – I know – but trust me when I say it makes a huge difference. Life is so much easier to navigate when you’re living in the moment; when you’re living from your heart centre (versus your head); and when you’re grounded and centred.
  • The second is fear. Being afraid of making the wrong decision (or the right one for that matter.) Afraid of looking stupid or being different. Afraid of not being happy. Afraid of being who you truly are and letting your light shine to it’s full potential.

We’ve been so used to being in control of our lives and believing – at least telling ourselves – that  we’re happy and this is as good as it gets – that the thought of actually letting go control and letting a higher power take over and take us to incredible new heights that are unknown to us is… well… it’s unimaginable, it’s unthinkably, it’s crazy, but above all else – it’s terrifying.

My guides have shown me an overhead view of our journey on earth. The way it was shown to me is that of a board game – because I often refer to life as a “game”. In the middle of the board is a bright shining circle of light. That light is God (or whomever your higher power may be) and reaching that light is our goal. We begin our journey at the edge of the board and there are many paths that cross, intersect and run parallel to the one we’re on. There are events that cross our paths and we have the choice of whether to judge them “good” or “bad”. They are neither… they are just events. My guides showed me this and said: “All paths lead to the centre. All paths lead to God. Some get you there faster, some slower. When choosing your path, choose the one that will bring you the most joy.”

If you find yourself at a crossroads and you’re unsure of which path to take, get grounded and centred, take a deep breath and ask: Which path will bring me closer to my goal? Which path will bring me the most joy? and which goal can I be of the most service?

A helpful visualization exercise

I find this visualization exercise very helpful:

See your current situation as the road you’re on. You’ve come to the end of it and what lies ahead is another road perpendicular to the one you’re currently on (that’s to say it’s a T). You can go right or you can go left.

Imagine yourself going right. What does the path feel like as you walk along? Is it bright as if a light were shinning on it or dark as if the sun was covered by a cloud? How do you feel? Happy, Sad, Joyful, Scared, Energized, Tired? How is your physical body reacting? Pay attention to your breathing, to your stomach, to your shoulders. Are you tingling with excitement? Is your heart racing and full of peace and joy. Do you feel light and airy? Are your shoulders lifted high up touching your ears? Are you holding your breath? Is your breathing shallow? Are you tense and rigid? Do you feel heavy and weighted?

Take a deep breath and shake off the image. Take another deep breath and imagine going left. Pay attention to your feelings and senses and to your physical body.

Compare your experiences from the right and left paths. The path that felt light, airy, joyful, happy and brought tingling to your body is the path to take. The path that felt heavy, sad, dark and tense is the path to avoid.

In love and light,

Wanda

Labels

hundreds of geese flying as sun sets
Geese coming in for the night. October 2012. © Wanda Quinn

Note: Originally written July 13, 2012.

I was listening to CBC Radio’s “Living Out Loud” show this afternoon while driving into Ottawa. Today’s show was about being gay; a mother interviewing her son and chatting about when he first knew; a father coming out to his teenage daughter; and following a woman’s journey as she becomes a man.

What stood out most for me, while listening to the struggles each of these people faced – not just the person “coming out” but their family members too – is “labels”. I was struck by how we, as a society, label people, places, situations, and things. Listening to a mother ask her son if he likes “regular” guys too, I could empathize with her, attempting to understand what being gay was all about.

I recalled an episode on the Oprah Winfrey show where other types of sexual orientations were discussed and suddenly the world was educated on the variety of sexual orientations. The look of confusion on Oprah’s face (which, I’m sure, was also on many viewers faces as well) trying to figure it all out in her mind: so, if you are born a woman, but have always felt like a man then have a sex change operation and become a man, are you attracted to men or women? Are you now considered straight or are you gay? It’s confusing when it’s not part of your world and this mother (on the CBC Radio show) was trying to be supportive and learn about her son’s world.

Accept you as you are

I found it interesting that this young man is also an aboriginal and upon being asked if being a gay and an aboriginal was more of a struggle for him he explained how the aboriginal culture is to accept the individual as they are.

This brings me back to labels: As a society, it appears that it is important for us to put a label on things so we can judge and compartmentalize things to appease ourselves.

Why does it matter if someone is gay? Why does it matter if someone is rich? Do we have to say: he’s fat; she’s thin; he’s rich; she’s poor. Can we not just be who we are? Do we really need so many labels in society to lump us into good and bad?

I want to know people for who they truly are

I would like to live in a society where I am known for my essence, my spirit, not my weigh, height, looks or my label but for who I truly am inside. I want to know people for who they truly are, not whom they believe society wants them to be.

Blessings,

Wanda