Trust

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steam vent hawaii

Wanda standing beside a mile deep volcano steam vent in Hawaii, Nov 2008. Credit: June Quinn ©

I went for a walk during my lunch hour. How could I not? It was +8C. The sky was overcast, but it was so mild and the snow was melting and that wonderful Spring smell was in the air! Glorious day!

So, I’m walking around campus, thinking about this blog and wondering what the next topic will be when I hear: TRUST. Trust? What’s there to write about trust. Apparently there’s a lot to write about trust.

Trust comes very easy to some people and not at all for others. It’s easy to trust when you’ve never had a reason not to, like an infidelity or abuse by a loved one (whether sexual, physical, verbal or emotional.)

Trust goes hand in hand with Faith… It’s believing in yourself and God… that all is in Divine order… it’s letting go…

I’ve been working on TRUST lately. It seems to be the lesson I’m having some difficulty learning. Just when I think I’ve got it, another “test” is thrown my way and I stumble through it. I finally realized last night what I need to learn about TRUST and all these lessons I’ve been through. Trust goes hand-in-hand with FAITH. It’s believing in yourself and God that all is in Divine order, then letting it go.

I have a habit of wanting proof all of the time. The angels say “Trust” and I say I do. Then the next day I ask for a sign or proof. They say trust. I say I do. Then the next day I ask for proof. They say trust and I say I do, but I need something tangible. They say trust and have faith, and I say, I do but…

I do but… I do but… If you do but, then you don’t really, do you?

The biggest lesson was last month and what I learned from it was I needed to trust my intuition, my instinct. I needed to trust my heart and what I was feeling inside. It’s imperative for me to learn this lesson. To trust my inner self. So I did. Or, at least I tried to. Then another scenario was thrown at me yesterday and it had me reeling, yet again. So I meditated and asked for help. The answer I received was TRUST. TRUST WHAT???? I don’t get it?

Archangel Michael walked me through it, step by step, until the light finally dawned on me (and he had a huge, grateful smile on his face!)

To trust and have faith means to believe it then let it go.

The last two lessons I went through are preparing me for a relationship. I was sexually abused for most of my childhood by someone whom I trusted . I didn’t know I had trust issues until I took a step back from my life a few years ago and did a “life review”. I realized that I needed to control my life and most situations, because I didn’t trust anyone else to do them for me. How could I? So, I spent my life not really believing or trusting anyone. If someone tells me they love me, I believe them, I really do. But only for the moment. If they don’t tell me again for a week or so, then I just figure they don’t love me anymore. It’s like I need constant reassurance from them. Not really good stuff to bring into a relationship is it?  Archangel Michael was able to show me how to look at the signs I’ve been receiving and come to the conclusion, on my own, that I can trust my instincts. There is more than enough proof and what I feel in my heart is right. I need to learn to TRUST it and I believe I do!

Now I know I can go into a relationship and learn to trust and not need that constant reassurance, which I’m sure would drive my future husband crazy!

Thank you angels and Archangel Michael for the reminder. Now, when you say, TRUST, I’m going to say “OK” and let it go!

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